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Stephen Colbert Had a Ton of Fun With Betsy DeVos’s Yacht Vandalism Saga
Betsy DeVos, a person whose genuine professional ineptitude would be almost endearing if she didn’t control the future of every child in America, suffered a boating tragedy this week. Pranksters attacked the Education Secretary’s $40 million yacht in one of the most polite forms of vandalism possible—simply untying it from the dock and liberating it, Free Willy-style, from its Amway overlords. Naturally, Stephen Colbert had a lot of fun with the story on the most recent episode of The Late Show.
“I’m not sure if setting a boat free counts as vandalism,” says Colbert. “That sounds like saying, ‘I got pretty crazy last night, I vandalized a balloon into the sky.’”
No need to worry about the yacht—its freedom on Lake Huron was short-lived, as the crew quickly had the situation under control. According to ABC News, its captain estimated the cost of repairing scrapes it sustained at between $5,000 and $10,000 dollars. That may sound like a lot to most of us, but for a $40 million dollar boat it’s probably the equivalent of filling in a dinged-up coffee table with brown Crayola.
As Colbert points out, even if the yacht had been damaged beyond repair, the DeVos’s would have been fine, as the billionaire family owns nine other boats.
“You know this is turning up in next year’s textbooks,” said Colbert. “‘If a yacht is unmoored and drifts north at 5 knots, but the wind is blowing south at 3 knots, don’t worry—you have 9 other yachts.'”