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Rashida Jones Producing New Show Kevin Can F*** Himself
Dear Rashida Jones and Will McCormack,
It has come to my attention that you are developing a new comedy at AMC tentatively titled Kevin Can F*** Himself. This show “aims to deliver the serio-comic POV of the sadly stereotypical TV sitcom wife who must forever put up with her disproportionally shlubby, goofball husband,” according to TVLine. And it follows a wife character who is described as “a beauty paired with a less attractive, dismissive, caveman-like husband who gets to be a jerk because she’s a nag and he’s “funny.'”
I would like to first off applaud such a fantastic premise for a comedy and introduce myself. My name is Matt Miller, an investigative journalist who followed the mysterious disappearance of Donna Gable on the hit show Kevin Can Wait, by which your new program is clearly inspired. For more than a year I meticulously reported on every development in the CBS sitcom up until its shocking cancellation after its second season.
My writing eventually reached the writers room on Kevin Can Wait, where I believe the staff was actively trying to communicate to me with subtle messages in a handful of episodes. As the season progressed, I was contacted by Erinn Hayes herself (who played Donna Gable until her abrupt firing at the end of Season One), who had been following my writing.
Unfortunately the program was canceled before I could finish my investigation, which left me unemployed*. Throughout my coverage, however, I gained valuable experience in sitcom television analysis, cultivating sources in major network writing rooms, and a proficiency with Microsoft Word and Photoshop.
My extensive experience in half-hour sitcom research would prove invaluable for the development of your new program. With my vast network of anonymous sources throughout the industry, my leadership skills, and my ability to sniff out elaborate conspiracy theories hidden within seemingly harmless sitcom plots, I believe I would be a perfect fit with your talented staff of writers and actors.
My portfolio, resume, and references are available upon request.
*I’m still employed at Esquire dot com but my true passion is sitcom investigative journalism.