What is happening in our world? Who is doing what? what is going on now? These are questions that will be answered. Enjoy.
Craziest Moments From Beth, Kevin Costner, and Walker
Two episodes into its second season, Yellowstone continued its run as the wildest ride on television, both figuratively and literally, because sometimes people ride horses. As Kayce moves into the de facto leadership position on the ranch, there’s definitely some hurt feelings, and as any Yellowstone fan knows, real men don’t have hurt feelings. They push men off moving horses because dammit that makes you a man. Perhaps the best way to make sense of it all is to just go over the most insane moments from Episode Two, “New Beginnings.”
Beth’s Business 101
Beth continues to be the most bananas character on this show, and that’s including the man who beat bar-goers with axe handles last week. As she continues on her pursuit to collect Montana ranch land like those cheap properties in Monopoly, she meets with a real estate agent who is too charming for her taste. In response, she belittles him for two minutes and then asks if he’s going to “go home to lay some pipe to the old lady” if he makes the sell. Then as he begins to leave, she tells him to get his “waxed asshole” out of her office, and honestly Beth is off her rocker if she thinks that’s how business is done.
Monica takes on her first day teaching an American History class, which somehow reminds a student of a Pornhub video he once saw. Hm.
Christopher Columbus, Canceled
Meanwhile, at the local college, Monica begins teaching her American History class. As soon as she walks into the class, a girl asks Monica if she’s “the teacher’s aide” and then a guy announces loudly that he saw a video on Pornhub that started with a woman entering a classroom the same way as Monica. First and foremost, that’s a super boring porn category to subscribe to. Secondly, how do these kids get away with stuff like this? Monica, determined as ever, decides to teach the kids a lesson by turning to the story of Christopher Columbus because at this point, Monica is here simply to save Yellowstone from being 47 straight minutes of fight scenes and forced speeches peppered with variations of the word “fuck.”
The Battle of Yellowstone Ranch
That all lead us to the main event. In an effort to move Kayce into head honcho territory, John moves Rip into the ranch hands bunkhouse and gets his son out of the mix. As Kayce put it, no leader is able to lead while living amongst his men. That clearly doesn’t set right with Rip, and considering that his problem solving solution last week was to literally release a giant bull into a bar, it’s anyone’s guess how he’ll deal with the news.
In Rip’s mind, this decision all dials back to Walker’s insubordination last week, so he takes it out on Walker by (a) cutting barbed wire so it slaps back on his face, (b) pushing him off his horse so hard that Walker slams into a tree, and (c) trying to run over his head with his horse. But Kayce intervenes and challenges Rip to a fight because that’s what men do! Casually, John watches from the perimeter because according to the patriarch, “this needs to happen.” Kayce wins the fight, but mark my words—Rip isn’t done. His time on Yellowstone ranch will come to an end via long black train… as to who is riding it, time will tell.
I’m never quite fully sure what’s going on during Yellowstone. I’ve never worked on a ranch, but I did spend two summers helping on a farm in high school and I never had to fight anyone for glory—but hey, times change. As long as Yellowstone continues to lean into the crazy, there’s going to be a crew to watch it. You can bet your waxed asshole on that.
Justin Kirkland is a writer for Esquire, where he focuses on entertainment.